Drupal - 8 - How to programmatically add terms to an existing Node
This is the correct long form, as in the comment of mradcliffe:
$node->get('abc')->appendItem(['target_id' => 123]);
You don't need to load the term, use the term id.
You can use shorter versions:
$node->abc->appendItem(['target_id' => 123]);
$node->abc[] = ['target_id' => 123];
$node->abc[] = '123';