How drunk am I and when can I drive again?

TSQL, 301, 299, 219, 206 Bytes

Input goes into temp table #I (you said any format :)

SELECT * INTO #I FROM (
  VALUES
    (4,'shots','booze')
   ,(1,'glasses','wine')
   ,(2,'bottles','beer')
   ,(3, 'glasses','water')
) A (Q, V, N)

Code:

SELECT IIF(L<0,0,L),IIF(10*L-.5<0,0,10*L-.5)FROM(SELECT SUM(Q*S*P)L FROM(VALUES('bo%',.5),('be%',.1),('wi%',.2),('wa%',-.1))A(W,S),(VALUES('s%',.2),('g%',2),('b%',5))B(X,P),#I WHERE N LIKE W AND V LIKE X)A;

Thanks for the ideas to improve it, Micky T :)

JavaScript (ES6), 131

a=>a.map(s=>([a,b,c]=s.split` `,t+=a*[50,20,2]['bgs'.search(b[0])]*~-'0236'['aeio'.search(c[1])]),t=0)&&[t>0?t/100:0,t>50?t/10-5:0]

Less golfed

a=>(
  t=0,
  a.map(s=>(
    [a,b,c] = s.split` `,
    t += a * [50,20,2]['bgs'.search(b[0])] // char 0 is unique
           * [-1,1,2,5]['aeio'.search(c[1])] // char 1 is unique 
           // golfed: add 1 to get a string of dingle digits, the sub 1 using ~-
    )
  ),
  [ t>0 ? t/100 : 0, t>50 ? t/10-5 : 0]
)