Visual Studio - Find in files > not any node_modules folders
Ok so I've tried this and it seems to work.
You can hide the node_modules folder (if they have a common root), by setting the Hidden attribute on the folder. As you say it fulfils your needs as per the question.
2020 Version
Add the following exclusion
!*\node_modules\*;!*\bin\*;!*\obj\*;!*\.*