Youtube breaks my internet connection
I can't believe I figured out the problem after so many months and it was staring at me in the face all along.
It was my wireless headphones. The Plantronics 995h apparently operates on the damn 2.4Ghz spectrum and so it must have been interefering with my wireless card. THAT'S why it was random and occuring even though my Wifi analyzer showed no other NETWORKS within 5 channels of me.
I unplugged the wireless headset and have had 2 problem free days.
Thank you, everyone who tried to help! :)