Many-to-many data structure in Python

sqlite3 (or any other good relational DB, but sqlite comes with Python and is handier for such a reasonably small set of data) seems the right approach for your task. If you'd rather not learn SQL, SQLAlchemy is a popular "wrapper" over relational DBs, so to speak, that allows you to deal with them at any of several different abstraction levels of your choice.

And "doing it all in memory" is no problem at all (it's silly, mind you, since you'll needlessly pay the overhead of reading in all the data from somewhere more persistent on each and every run of your program, while keeping the DB on a disk file would save you that overhead -- but, that's a different issue;-). Just open your sqlite database as ':memory:' and there you are -- a fresh, new relational DB living entirely in memory (for the duration of your process only), no disk involved in the procedure at all. So, why not?-)

Personally, I'd use SQL directly for this task -- it gives me excellent control of exactly what's going on, and easily lets me add or remove indices to tweak performance, etc. You'd use three tables: a Books table (primary key ID, other fields such as Title &c), an Authors table (primary key ID, other fields such as Name &c), and a "many-to-many relationship table", say BookAuthors, with just two fields, BookID and AuthorID, and one record per author-book connection.

The two fields of the BookAuthors table are what's known as "foreign keys", referring respectively to the ID fields of Books and Authors, and you can define them with an ON DELETE CASCADE so that records referring to a book or author that gets deleted are automatically dropped in turn -- an example of the high semantic level at which even "bare" SQL lets you work, which no other existing data structure can come close to matching.

I'm hoping for some ready made module that can provide methods along the lines of:

Since that actually works, what more do you need?

You have a Book and an Author class definition. You also have a Book-Author association for the relationships. The methods required to manage add/change/delete are only a few lines of code.

Create big old dictionaries of Authors, Books and Author-Book association objects.

Use shelve to store it all.

Done.