Goodbye, world!

C + Unix

Outputs a Shakespeare soliloquy before deleting itself:

#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <unistd.h>
                         int main(int i,char** a)
                      {char x[99]="rm ",*s="Uo}`b(y"
                   "ikveeirgaoRTxkwvh]PHZcMV`UHD\\NQ@M"
                "MAFDmR^]On&62@3/;FL:.7A00\"+#/:$(7,}y3!z~"
               "s.#{+}~nmkwDWjf~rjfjbmwYeZsUed`gbl\\RiY^\\YG"
             "LIRWT^EMOPPH>v&HSHBPE1:3K-=7<F(-&-155>~<0!z8(|5"
            "*'#(r{s\"8KKwl'h~$rrqorgkcy_g\\uj]Y`1o{zlA[iNRMqd"
           "poaVP^RJBAKdWcbTs\"BP>?A3fJ,8-F)?C%A5-%$.;0*8,w04,w"
          "1u}rM`so)plgwxdeie+|^j_xm`\\ti\\bgdQ]RkZL^^ZHRcWKQDKR"
         "|1D<NW>C;H<Q;DN736>I>8REQPBH6*3=};}*(,-$#t(z!}NQq#y~|s!"
         "%xr\"ce}ufoc!]&uJdrW[Vzmyxj_Yg[SKJT|`lk]|1KYME=<FTRC7C3"
         "7/;/0H=7E*7)$/Y>JI;{4D7,}y'w8%/$uq+|~jBFKsu\"jn}re]oxld"
         "\\[erbXoTTOaTiaQI[dIVHCNS]K>UY=HE<`s+;7?NF3K4,@.F:.:*).&"
         "$=-#\"9.!!*4\"#%&pz-ozsu4GSzww\"hiuc{qnxiYliZ.qfYUaSr_i^"
         "QMeXJWSGDT}2E=OXF9B;HR63=1<7AEI9/F:5C020(>+'#!TX]')4,z\""
         "0(}$xo*kmhx%xkg!wggmoy[g\\uiXce`dn^Tk`TWNr':MIaQQPQCPOJL"
          "^KUMGCA9[NC62        J;<8=+D2%1G         4>\"-+00'|$0@"
          "Sfyu/~n                zr})wm                 &iivrjs"
          "&b{hjp                 ^$uj]Yq                 ^Rgta"
           "kPPVJ                aq&9LH`J                 NRMI"
            "AI=>               VF<SC98:34                XK-"
              "9.G             </+C7373.2\\o              $z."
              "7(v           *|w!&/{r ~t~)wm&y           lh\""
              "vnvmo      pcswlXaZg}    2HXT\\kTP     hQQTYJPI`"
            "NIFFQZCCLVHK>9GGDN</81      i!2</D&B%#3%=~,~&#'U5-"
             "{#1)~%yp+~qmzk%jdtee        kq{^`[k$7JdrZdf^clNZ"
              "Oh\\_LGYbXPEEQ\\>Z         R?:JPTA=97[noCAJ?2"
                 "*<E  :-)A&3%~\"         ;+!8,'$y)     zz~"
                         "v.nr!o{(       kkfxk.!-"
                          ",|=Pc_wmeZ^gVagUasQjNY"
                           "^V[X^naHSOL\\TDJM>V9E"
    "JFAp}                 ?MB?-A/54,8C6(662-1G:FE                7(,0/"
  "~v%/$uq+#                rts2EEqf!m`iboyolviW               i\\XdoRTO_"
"j_RX[LdNPOU_WD                                            \\E=Q?w,?7CR9>JNC"
 "=K;?2.::D9,$6?7$<(*                                  *17&v+zz'0~tLL_r~{'"
           "itrvejemabz_i^                       kucV_XpT_fO_P^hX"
                  "Ne[XbDNMy}}K@           YNAMJTI<8P?1C7"
                        "C1I2>-E5+B5'4/+31%*(W_*4({"
                           "t{{wrp+y0my&|mwj!tgc"
                          "{l\\f^vZWhhqaWncV\\aR"
                   "R]#''SHaGOTDPMN     DM>KUE;R:D61CL="
             "5?-1F(4)B01.%-2G               Zp#-~5*{{&0#stm}n5("
   "{njmu\"duqpbjomwllhcrTi                     ciy..ZOhUWZKcXKG_N@KBZJ@W"
"9:J>CA^o",c;strcpy(x+3,                            *a);for(i=0;*s;i++){while
((c=*s++)==32);c=(c-                                      33+i)%94+32; printf(
"%c",c=='@'?(sleep(                                         3),'\n'):c);}printf
      ("\n");system                                            (x);sleep
       (6);return                                                c-c;}

---

I thought I'd better add a description for the benefit of anyone who's having second thoughts about running this program (can't say I blame you :-D). It consists almost entirely of a single text string

*s="Uo}`b(yikveeirgaoRT ... G_N@KBZJ@W9:J>CA^o"; /* 1459 bytes */

which is decoded in a for() loop with an incrementing counter i. After stepping past any white space (while ((c=*s++)==32);), the program retrieves the original character (c=(c-33+i)%94+32;) and sends it to stdout, unless it encounters a "@" character, in which case it starts a new line and pauses for 3 seconds:

printf("%c",c=='@'?(sleep(3),'\n'):c);

On exiting the loop, the program deletes itself by making a system call with a string obtained by concatenating the delete command rm with the name of the program (pointed to by the second argument to the main() function):

int main(int i,char** a) {
  char x[99]="rm " ...
    :
  strcpy(x+3,*a);
    :
  system(x);

The decoded text is from Hamlet.

Bash

You don't need a program. Just this shebang at the top of your file:

#!/bin/rm

Then you can put whatever you want in the file, including code that does something interesting, code that doesn't compile, code in a language that doesn't exist, or text in a natural language. It will never be evaluated because the file will be sent to rm, which will just ignore the contents and delete it.

Commodore 64 BASIC

10 NEW

:) :)