how to bind inverse boolean, JavaFX

Using the EasyBind library one can easily create a new ObservableValue that from checkbox.selectedProperty() that has the invert of its values.

paneWithControls.disableProperty().bind(EasyBind.map(checkbox.selectedProperty(), Boolean.FALSE::equals));

If you want only a one-way binding, you can use the not() method defined in BooleanProperty:

paneWithControls.disableProperty().bind(checkBox.selectedProperty().not());

This is probably what you want, unless you really have other mechanisms for changing the disableProperty() that do not involve the checkBox. In that case, you need to use two listeners:

checkBox.selectedProperty().addListener((obs, wasSelected, isNowSelected) -> 
    paneWithControls.setDisable(! isNowSelected));

paneWithControls.disableProperty().addListener((obs, wasDisabled, isNowDisabled) ->
    checkBox.setSelected(! isNowDisabled));

checkbox.selectedProperty().bindBidirectional(paneWithControls.disableProperty().not());

should work