how to change the color of a single bar if condition is True matplotlib

You need to use color instead of facecolor. You can also specify color as a list instead of a scalar value. So for your example, you could have color=['r','b','b','b','b']

For example,

import numpy as np
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt

fig = plt.figure()
ax = fig.add_subplot(111)

N = 5
ind = np.arange(N)
width = 0.5
vals = [1,2,3,4,5]
colors = ['r','b','b','b','b']
ax.barh(ind, vals, width, color=colors)

plt.show()

is a full example showing you what you want.

To answer your comment:

colors = []
for value in dictionary.keys(): # keys are the names of the boys
    if winner == value:
        colors.append('r')
    else:
        colors.append('b')

bar(ind,num,width,color=colors)

for seaborn you can do something like this:

import seaborn as sns
import numpy as np

values = np.array([2,5,3,6,4,7,1])   
idx = np.array(list('abcdefg')) 
clrs = ['grey' if (x < max(values)) else 'red' for x in values ]
sns.barplot(x=idx, y=values, palette=clrs) # color=clrs)

for matplotlib:

import numpy as np
import matplotlib.pyplot as plt

values = np.array([2,5,3,6,4,7,1])   
idx = np.array(list('abcdefg')) 
clrs = ['grey' if (x < max(values)) else 'red' for x in values ]
plt.bar(idx, values, color=clrs, width=0.4)
plt.show()