Points to consider when deciding whether to get married during a PhD
If you've found the right person to marry in graduate school, what's the alternative? Getting married as a postdoc or tenure-track faculty member is also difficult, since you still have a lot of career pressure and uncertainty. It won't go over well to say "I love you, but let's wait until I have tenure to get married," since that's way too far in the future, and I don't see any real advantage to saying "let's wait until I'm a postdoc."
Before marrying a non-academic, it's important to make sure they understand some of the basic parameters of academia:
The job market is incredibly competitive. Harvard probably won't hire you even if everyone agrees you're really smart, and getting a job at a less prestigious university is not a form of career failure. Indeed, just the opposite is true: any career progress in academia is a success that should be celebrated.
There is a national, and even international, job market with universities in many locations, but that doesn't mean you can choose where you want to live. Instead, it means you need to apply everywhere and take what you can get. Unless you are really lucky, having an academic career may require living somewhere you do not consider desirable, and you won't even be able to predict in advance where that might be.
Having a successful research career requires a lot of work, but it's a little different from many demanding jobs because the work is mostly self-imposed. You need to do it, but nobody is specifying what, when, or how. This can lead to resentment since everything you spend time on seems like a choice, rather than an externally imposed requirement. So you need a partner who is not inclined towards jealousy over time commitments.
If these issues are not an obstacle, then it's reasonable to get married whenever seems appropriate.
For the actual question (“ what are the points to remember when one thinks of getting married in the middle of a PhD?”):
- If you are a woman, and live in a country where you are expected to take the surname of your husband, make sure that doesn't interfere with other people's ability to keep track of your publications. (Some women I know, though they use their husband's name for daily life, use their maiden name for academic purposes. That or using both surnames.)
Honestly, that's about the only academia-specific or PhD-specific real advice I could think of. Everything else is just, well, the usual stuff:
- Planning a wedding can become really time consuming. Organize efficiently, or delegate, or simply choose to do something simple. (Elope?)
- The honeymoon may be tricky to arrange, especially if your spouse has high expectations (some people would expect the happy couple to take a 3-week vacation starting the day after the wedding, which might be hard to schedule).
And obvious reference:
For the rest of the question, the only thing I have to say is: oh man, you've got to get your priorities straight!
Having gotten married more or less exactly in the middle of my PhD, I would say emphatically no, it is not a bad idea at all! (I expect you just meant 'during' by 'in the middle of' though. =] )
Regarding the 'meagre pay': at the time my PhD scholarship was about twice as much money as I had ever had in my life before, so I felt comparatively wealthy. We were not interested in having a lavish wedding anyway, but we did manage to afford a very nice wedding with 80 guests, paid for out of money saved from our PhD scholarships.
Of course PhD students might not be similarly well-paid in many countries (we were in the UK).
As for the 'burden of responsibility', I'm not quite sure what you mean by this, so I'll ask a question in a comment and wait until you reply.
Points to consider:
You will potentially need to lower your expectations about what kind of wedding you can afford, but if the point is to achieve the state of being married, I don't think that's a big problem. You can always throw a big anniversary party at some point later when you have more money.
Potential name change (as mentioned by F'x): If a name change is going to be involved, it can be very convenient to have this happen before one has any publications, which is a lot more likely to be the case during the PhD than afterwards. (I did change my surname, and had no publications yet at that point, so there is no problem with using my new surname for academic purposes.)
Honeymoon: There's a lot more chance of getting enough time off for a proper honeymoon during a PhD than once you have a job, although this is going to depend completely on your supervisor, of course. [Added because of F'x thinking the honeymoon could be a problem: My supervisor allowed me a month after my wedding.]
Companionship, as you mentioned: This is obviously especially relevant if you are from a culture/religion where living together before marriage is not usual. Definitely having 'an intimate companion' during the PhD journey (not that mine was that long or bleak - but my husband's was more so) can be a huge help, and I don't see any reason for a couple to wait until after a PhD to get married if they are ready now.
I may add more later if I think of anything else. There is more I would say if I wasn't trying not to stray too far into 'discussion' or 'off-topic'ness.