What year is it?
Python 3, 178 bytes
s=input();i=42157313>>s.index("#")*4&15;print("Your calendar is for %d.\nIt's almost 2015.\n%sGo buy a new calendar!"%(2014-i,(i>0)*("You're %d year%s behind.\n"%(i,"s"*(i>1)))))
A simple lookup table based on the location of the first #
.
Expanded:
s=input()
i=42157313>>s.index("#")*4&15
print("Your calendar is for %d.\nIt's almost 2015.\n%sGo buy a new calendar!"\
%(2014-i,(i>0)*("You're %d year%s behind.\n"%(i,"s"*(i>1)))))
Perl - 187
$ARGV[0]=~/^( *)/;my@a=(7,8,3..5,0,6);my$b=($a[length$1]+2006);print"Your calendar is for $b.\nIt's almost 2015.\n".($b<2014?"You're ".2014-$b." years behind.\nGo buy a new calendar!":"")
CJam, 126 bytes
"Your calendar is for "2e3q'##"DE9AB6C"=~+".
It's almost "2015_(".
You're 5 years behind"9@5$-:TtTg*".
Go buy a new calendar!"